Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I'm disgusted with myself. Yeah I just discovererd that I have gained all my weight back. Back when I decided to start losing weight again, Summer's grandma told me rudely, "you'll just gain it back". So here I am a year later, and I have gained it all back, and more. Right now I weigh 319 pounds. At one point before Christmas, I weighed 265. Thats fifty pounds in 6 months. Thats oh what like 8 pounds a month!!!Unbelievable. And its very simple why I gained it all back. Sedentary lifestyle and fast food. See Summer is not cooking as much anymore, we're stressed with our new life, we don't have very much money, and so we eat out...Chinese, pizza, and Mexican being our guilty pleasures. You see I am in the car a lot and worrying about money and getting more deeds and stuff. And don't you know I see MickeyDs pass by...hmmm I think I'll stop there and get myself a Double Quarter Pounder. You know I don't even enjoy it. Its tastes terrible to me. I don't seem to have any hope. You know I kid because I care but there is a sense of urgency here because I am a ticking time bomb for Heart Disease and high Cholesterol. Not good. My Mom died prematurely of Heart Disease and Dad has had two or three heart attacks. So there you go. I know what I have to do. I have already two times. Lose fifty to thirty pounds pronto. How do I do that?

1. Exercise my but off 10 to 15 hours a week.
2. Stop eating out, only eat in the house, NO FAST FOOD.
3. Cut down on fried and processed foods.

And so it goes. Last year this time, Erin was staying with us cuz we just got home with Jacob. And then I decided to dedicate myself to lose weight and run my first triathlon. Well I did that and now I am back to where I started. I remember I went out to run with Summer and I couldn't even run a mile without stopping. And now I think I am back to that point. But I did do an eighteen mile bike ride last week that wasn't too bad. But I am in the flat terrain of the Florida Peninsula. But anyway I am going to try and get back on track. Its a spiritual thing not just a physical or emotional thing. I am letting myself go because I cannot deal with the stress. And that sucks. So there you go. The veracity of that sentence really just hit me.

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